NZDating?

NZDating. I don't know what to think of it. They've been fucking around with me lately by not telling me I have messages waiting. I was bored and logged in and saw I had three messages - that's weird. No one ever messages me.

The first person said I was great and offered me a job on the floor at SkyCity. He obviously didn't realise I'm not even old enough to enter the gaming area so I don't see that one happening.

The second person was alright, same age, studying at uni, wanted to know where I was from. Actually, he said 'where are you from?' and like always, I didn't know what exactly he was asking. Does he want to know where I live? Where I was born? Or was he trying to find out why I look the way I do, what is my background? Well, to answer all his questions, I just said 'South Auckland'. That works I guess.

The question is always ambiguous. I love it how people from the South say "where do you stay?" I always used to think, no, I'm not from the Islands (like most of them where), I'm from here. I live here, not stay here. But at least when they ask me that question I know exactly how to answer it.

The other night a guy said that he was curious that I didn't list my ethnicity. I told him to take a guess. My own reply was ambiguous as I later found out by his reply. He said, you are Asian. Or did you want me to guess why you didn't list it? He went on to list, "is that because: you're insecure of promoting you ethnic identity in fear of rejection OR if you did list it then you wouldn't have the pleasure of receiving a message from me asking why ;p". Smart guy.

Actually, I deal with the 'fear of rejection' thing way differently. I do not message people first. I don't find a profile I like and send a message to that person. The only time I have ever done that is with Max.

The third guy was amazing. He was a 53 year old man from the South Canterbury/Otago area. He said of my profile, "What an incredible dynamic and complex young man but one with talent. Hope you meet the guy who will debate challenge yet nurture your creativeness and intellect. Keep chasing your dreams".

I thought that was such a great thing to say and told him so. He got me down so accurately. Yes, I am dynamic, but I'm just as complex. I come with baggage, less than some, more than most. I don't know why people think I'm so great from my profile. When I read over it, I think that I sound like a high class bitch, saying what I like and what I do not. Telling people who I want to meet and those whom I don't. Telling people I let the stars and the planets guide me? They must think I'm crazy. Someone even messaged me once saying 'thanks for your honesty' - I didn't know what to make of it. It was as though I said something like 'I'm a murderer' or something that lots of people would be taken aback by, but this guy appreciated I was telling it like it was. I still don't really know what he was on about.

But honestly, someone enlighten me. Am I being too unrealistic in my expectations to find someone? I don't deal with commitment very well so that's why I want this person to come along and set me up for life. I don't want to find out what I'd like and what I wouldn't. I know what I want. That person I described here.

But hey, there are some great guys on that site. Most of them are quite shady, but some of them are well worth pursuing - trust me, I know ;)